Does anyone even remember a show called “Hannity and Colmes?” I think it came on between MTV Cribs and Jersey Shore. But I could be mistaken there. So Alan Colmes left. I guess by the speed-of-life news cycle that lives on today’s internets, this is pretty old news. Well, this is old news by anybody’s standards.
But… since I was looking for something to spend 15 minutes rambling about, I thought a topic of Alan Colmes vs. Sean Hannity is as good as anything. So why did Colmes leave the mega-hit faux-news show “Hannity and Colmes?” And why did they replace him with no one? My good friend Danny Gallagher had as good a quote on this as I’ve ever seen. And believe me, I’ve seen some quotes about this. At least two. Danny said, “…they couldn’t find a left-wing commentator who was willing to get paid to sit quietly for an hour while the people at the big table talked.” That’s funny. He’s saying they gave Alan some goldfish and a juice box and told him to be quiet, the grownups are talking.
Okay, so I’m joking about that. Not the goldfish and juice box thing. I’m joking that Danny Gallagher and I are good friends. He doesn’t know me and the first time I saw his name was tonight when I read that quote. But I’m sure he’s a good guy.
So here goes with my Hannity vs. Colmes post.
Who has the hotter wife?
Alan Colmes is married to Jocelyn Crowley. She’s hot. Sean appears to be married to Jill Rhodes Hannity. It’s hard to find pictures of her. Scoobie Davis claims to have one here. While she’s certainly attractive enough in this picture, it would take more pictures to make a definitive call. The edge: Colmes.
Who went to the better college?
Wikipedia says Alan went to Hofstra. It doesn’t say anything about where Hannity went, if anywhere. Even if he went to Harvard, Yale or Oxford, I’d have to give the edge to anyone who went to Hofstra. They have two mascots. Edge: Colmes.
Who is the bigger stud?
Alan Colmes is married to Jocelyn Crowley. See above, she’s hot. I read a post just a minute ago that says Sean Hannity has no penis. It’s got to be true. It’s on the internets. The edge: Colmes.
There you have it. In this very scientific survey of Alan Colmes vs. Sean Hannity, Colmes wins 3-0. Go get ‘em Alan. You stud.